Aching Heart - Det svider i hjärtat

Friday is the opening night for "Det svider i hjärtat" a documentary by Swedish film maker Oscar Hedin. LaikaFilm presents the film with the following text... (swedish

In 2005, Bosnian police raided a flat in Sarajevo, which was occupied by two suspected suicide bombers. Two young men were apprehended: Mirsad and Cesur, one from the small town of Kungälv outside Gothenburg, the other from the suburb Bröndby in Copenhagen. They had recorded a video with a farewell message. They were in possession of explosives and suicide belts. Both were sentenced to long-term imprisonment.

The media has approached this problem using simple generalisations and intellectual explanations. In filming the radical milieu for over three years, the documentary filmmaker Oscar Hedin entered a world behind the news headlines and found several young men who were seeking martyrdom - and he found new explanations.

Graduation: Check! --> Norway here I come!

After handing in a not-quite-finnished written presentation after the deadline I was far from sure that I would actually pass.... Sure there were good things about the report... like the cool frontpage logo that Abbas made and some chapters were cool, but I had a strong feeling that it didn't really make sense to some one who knew nothing about the project.

I was tired as shit when I returned to Aarhus and I had to search deep inside to find the last bit of energy that could push me over the finishing line - presenting the project to a three-person panel consisting of Paul Natorp (The teacher who has followed my project and head of studies at the KaosPilots), Nanna (Knows the KaosPilot stuff) and Karen Thomsen (Executive producer at Nordisk Film the biggest production company in Scandinavia)

(Thank you/jo for the picture..)

I found the energy, and I made a great presentation. The prototype of the strategy tool I had developed turned out really nice (the colorful stuff on the right) and I had models and stuff covering the whole wall behind me which worked really well. I presented freely without any written stuff in my hands. And listened carefully to the questions before answering.

Half way through the Q&A-session I started to feel I had done well. The questions showed that they had understood everything and that they were convinced about the quality of my work. So, I started relaxing. Relaxing from a month of really hard preassure. I had worked all the way through the night before the presentation and I suppose my eyes were in need of some lubrication... So when i got a question about what I was proud of... well, I started crying. Sobbing I managed to say: - That I didn't give up. I started laughing at my own crying and my three censors offered me water which I accepted.

After my presentation and the questions I sat down out on the terrace with some of my team mates. Paul, Nanna and Karen seemed to have a lot to discuss because it took them an hour and a half to write the feed-back and decide on a grade. I got a 10 on the wierd Danish 13-scale (where 13 represents "reinventing the field", 12 does not exist and there are five levels of failing). So, ten is good, and considering that I thought I'd flunk only a few weeks earlier it is really great.

After giving me the grade I got a question that really surprised me: - What happened to Chelsea? I told them that she is coming to Stockholm in August. Before leaving Karen Thomsen gave me her card and said: - Have a great summer holiday and call me when you are back at work.

Wednesday I am doing a workshop about Interactivity and Public Journalism at NRK in Oslo.

Liminal slide

Today I talked to Chelsea. We talked about liminal spaces... she defines them as spaces in between one thing and another usually refering to time.

A plane ride is the typical example, after you left but before you arrive... hmm sort of like cyberspace - the place where an e-mail is after you have sent it before it has arrived with the person you sent it to... can't remember where I heard that definition but it stuck.

I told Chelsea that I find myself in a strange place with my bag still packed no apartment or room of my own and no plan to change that situation before mid june. It is a place of unrest. Not stress, just a lack of relaxation. I think I need to take care of that... it is not necessarily an apartment or a room I need (it would help) but could also be something I do. Maybe I should go swimming, running or something like that... Yes, I think that is a great idea. Running is a great thing for me... it gives me time to think, no one to relate to, time to meditate, physical motion to rest my mind... I often run when I am a bit confused and have then felt how it becomes a ritual for finding direction - physical direction becoming mental direction.

Bodil Jönsson writes a passage about something called "ställtid" in her bestseller Ten thoughts on time (Tio tankar om tid). Ställtid is the time it takes to arrange things so that you can start doing whatever it is you want to do.

I have observed my own behavior (composing photo slideshows of my trip, myspacing friends in the US, partying until early morning, enjoying the jetlag). I have seen it, accepted it, now it is time to deal with it.

We are the pool

Yesterday me and my danish musician-friend Rasmus got an idea to go swimming at the Metropolitan Pool which is around the corner from where we live. But it was a "members only"-thing. We got really pissed of 'cos we were so stoked about our swimming-idea. I didn't really want to let it go so I started lookin' around for another place to go.

Suddenly, through Drayton a Couchsurfing accuaintance of mine, I stumbled upon an art collective and through them into something fantastic. I found out that there is an old public swimmingpool in Brooklyn that these awesome people are trying to revitalize. They started up an organization called "Poolaid"and made this fantastic event around it.

...but that's not all. They teamed up with a bunch of Brooklyn-based indy bands, like Nada Surf, The Giraffes and made this awesome music video.

Sing it! WEE ARE THE POOOL!



Ok, I don't know who reads this, but let's all give it up for Brooooklyn!

...my only question is: Where were the civic journalism people?

This is what community is about, and the kind of thing that all kinds of people can gather around (Ok, judgeing from the video there were primarily ageing hippsters and their kids...but In my little dreamworld they could even have succeeded to team up with the chassidic jewish women who swim at the Metropolitan Pool on wednesdays but... maybe they don't like Nada Surf..) I put all these thoughts within brackets because I think it was brilliant just the way it was and those people who did it were just heroes...the only real regret was me being on the wrong side of the Atlantic when it happened.

...once again I start thinking about rituals. The pool is just a symbol, the artists lead the ceremony and the people dance 'til they're delerious. ;)